I Dream Of Wheezy

Last night, I had a dream that Lil Wayne came to my house and moved in with me. I was so excited! I was like, “Oooh cool my friends would be so jealous!! Hee hee hee  :D”

 He moved all his things and his bed into the kitchen. I asked him why and he said it was so he’d be closer to the food. I thought to myself, “My God he’s a genius…”

I assumed he’d be a really cool roommate. Because he really is cool and everyone wants to meet him. And I just got the privilege of actually doing it! And even in my own house for heavens sake!

I was excited.

I came downstairs to where he was watching tv (on my grandmother’s chair for some reason I’m not sure how that got there.) and I said “Hey Lil Wayne, wanna play Wii Sports???”

Lil Wayne didn’t wanna play Wii Sports with me.

He’d rather do what he was doing which was smoke pot and pet my dog who was sitting in his lap. I asked him why not, and he gave me one of those mottled dream answers that don’t make sense word for word but you know what they mean.

He basically meant, “I don’t wanna play no Wii Sports. Rapping an’ singing are hard boy! I need a break.”

I was like, “Oh, okay.” And respected his personal space.

Then I remembered that even though Wheezy didn’t want to hang out with me, I could still get a picture of him and me so I could post it on Facebook and my friends would be soooooo jealous!

I went downstairs and said, “Hey, Mr. President, can I get a picture with you so I can make my friends jealous?” Lil Wayne said, “Sorry bro I’m going home.”

I said, “What? But you can just wait for me to get one picture with me!”

“Nope the FedEx truck is leaving now!”

Then Mr. Coach Carter ran from my house and jumped onto the back of a FedEx truck and road away.

I’m still pretty mad at him.

Hysterical Joke I Told My English Teacher

Me: “Hey, Ms. AJ, would you ever get me in trouble for something I didn’t do?

Ms. AJ: “Oh of course not Jackson, why would you ask?”

Me: “Because I didn’t do my homework.” :D :D :D :D

Not Worth Crying About, But it is an Inconvinience

I Have a Big Bag

Today is December 15. now that i've said that, you're probobly thinking we’d have snow, and it would be at least really cold and winter like.

But astoundingly, it’s 65 degrees Fahrenheit outside.

It boggles my mind.

Is it global warming? The globe is certainly warming but can that cause the average December temperature to increase by 40%?

But I also heard that it causes weather to be more extreme. 3 years ago a horrible blizzard came called “snowmegaton.” Please still talk about it if we’ve ran out of other things to talk about. Was that due to global warming?

It boggles my mind.

This morning when I went to the bus stop, it was probably -3,000 degrees outside. I wore a huge big, fat, Columbia jacket and the warmest small jacket I had underneath.

I kind off felt like Kenny on South Park.

Then after school, I was prepared to wear the same protection from the elements on my walk home. I walked out of the school to go home, and then the horrible truth set in.

It was 65 degrees. And everyone was wearing SHORTS. And I was wearing my huge poofy jacket.

Its not that I was afraid to take off my coats. It’s because my backpack wasn’t made to

 hold 3 feet of jacket! The result looks like this.

Thank God I didn’t fall over I wouldn’t have been able to get up again.

Well I know that the weather is the easiest and most simple minded conversation topic, so thank you for reading and know that I will always love you.

More than You've Ever Wanted to Know about Ears

I’ll tell you what, the oddest thing is happening.

It started three days ago. The little rim on the top of my ear has been hurting all the time. i don't know how to describe it, it's like it has been twisted and bent and smashed with a heavy book.

I haven’t bumped it against anything, I haven’t twisted or twiddle with it at all from what i can remember. I don’t listen to big, poofy headphones that may hurt it after a while.

It boggles my mind.

Perhaps it’s broken. What’s that stuff in your ear called? Cattlebridge or something?

Except usually when things are broken, usually someone has to break them.

Perhaps I did it? It was a full moon last week, I’ve heard about people doing odd things during a full moon.

Did I somehow turn into some ear cattlebridge snapping ape-man?

It boggles my mind.

I drew an anatomy of the human ear to further express my situation.   

I showed my mom this and she said I should get a job as a diagram artist for doctors. I couldn't agree more.

Today was a Hilarious Comedy of Errors

Today was one of those days when you had so many fails happen to you that it is almost funny. Or at least funny/interesting enough to blog about.

It all started this morning actually. I was asleep in the top bunk of my bunk bed at 6:15 when my alarm clock went off. Normally I just slowly flounder out of bed and get dressed.

But this morning for some reason my brain was like, “Holy crap, what in the hell is that??” and made my body jump up high enough so that the back of my head went BOOM against the ceiling.

 It was at that point I realized it would be an interesting day.

When I got to school in the morning, I went downstairs to the lunchroom to buy my daily box of Mot’s Apple Juice. The moment I got into the lunchroom I saw a huge circle of students shouting things like “Oh shit, you ‘bout to go down gurl!” which always means there’s a fight. And with the word “gurl” I knew it was a chick fight.

But this was an intense chick fight. When dudes fight, they usually throw a few punches and say “YAY! I’m manly and cool! :D” but when girls fight, it is to hurt and inflect physical harm on the other person.

And this one was one of the worst ( by worst it also means most fun to watch ) I have ever seen!

The two girls both looked Puerto Rican and had lots of makeup, and slightly tubby. They were both pulling on each other’s hair and shrieking devilish shrieks of anger and pain.

I would never be able to know what they were fighting about because I didn’t know ether of them. Maybe one stole the other’s tator tots the day before, or maybe they were helping each other out with homework and got into an argument over a math problem. But whatever it was, it was bad.

And I never got my juice…

In career search, since we work on computers and our class is usually well behaved, Ms. Jones let us listen to music on the computer.

I went to Playlist.com and found one of my favorite songs “Santeria” by one of my favorite bands Sublime.

I was trying to get my headphones to work. (I had left mine at home and was borrowing one from the computer lab) But I didn’t seem to work…

The headphones were plugged in the computer, the volume was up, and yet I couldn’t hear anything.

After a minute or two of fiddling with the volume control I thought, “Hmm.. maybe it’s the headphones.” And then at full volume the speakers blared a part of the song that says, “I GOT SOMETHING FOR HIS PUNK-ASS!”

Ms. Jones got mad at me, but I blame the lab’s kaput headphones.

All day I walked around with my Fruit of the Looms feeling astoundingly uncomfortable. It became so bad that I went into the bathroom stall and found out why. They were completely backwards.

I don’t know if that’s ever happened to you before, but it’s very, very, very awkward. It’s one of those moments were you say horrible and nasty words in your mind and try to find a way to fix it without looking conspicuous.

Well, I decided that I should go to the bathroom during class, strip down and fix the situation. Not in between classes because people always come into the bathroom at that time and especially when I’m in the stall, scream and bang on the doors, “Hey Jackson, how’s it goin’ in thar? HAHAHA” During class it wasn’t as chaotic.

I went into the bathroom, and got ready but then I noticed that the floor was disgustingly wet. It looked like someone completely forgot that you pee IN the toilet, or maybe someone just had ridiculously bad aim. But you get the picture.

To avoid touching the grimy ground with my super sexy looking jeans, I stood on the toilet. I knew you could probably see me from the ground if you were walking in, but I didn’t think anyone would walk in.

But then of course someone did walk in. He saw my head above the stall, and I think he also saw me holding my pants. He looked at me for a few seconds, and walked away.

Thank God it was only a teacher.

Other things happened today too though. at lunch I spilled my tray, in civics I found a pencil on the floor and started using it and then the girl behind me said, “HEY THAT’S MINE!!!” and when some girls were taking a group photo, I accidently walked in the way and took up the whole shot and then they got mad at me.

But not bad for a Monday. 

just when we thought it couldn't get any scarier.

I’m sure you all of seen that trailer for the new movie “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”. Its about a man who is British, and a detective. ( All great detectives seem to be.)

And he’s trying to solve a mystery where a girl has disappeared, and needs help from a lesbian, gothic, insanely smart detective girl.


Well, it’s obvious that the detective lady and the missing lady are the same person. I just saw the preview and they look EXACTLY the same.


The preview was 8 minutes long, and the scariest preview I have ever seen. Not because she’s lesbian, ( I am definitely not a homophobe) but because the whole premises is so dark and angry… and creepy. It involves rape, dark religious practices, murder, sacrifices, just a bunch of thing that give you the willies.

I can’t wait to see it.

My Absolute Favorite Video of all Time

the greatest youtube video of all time. "Story From North America"

WELCOME TO NARNIA

Today, i started a blog on blogger.com. ( You must be reading it now! :D ) I called it, “Bizarre: the blog" mostly because I couldn’t think of anything better.

I uploaded a comic, it’s not as funny as Will Ferrell, or Adam Sandler, or Bill Cosby, or Trollface comics.       

But I thought it was pretty good for a start.

I hope you all enjoy it, I hope it is fun to write, and who knows? Maybe a famous director may read it and want me to be a script writer!
( But in real life I hope it gets at least 10 views. )

The First.

lets pray it gets better from here.